My reaction in my journal

Here is some of what I journaled the day after we had our 20 week ultrasound.

"I feel so strong about my faith and trust in God riht now. I know this may waiver and at times maybe I will question God or be angry, but right now I feel very strong. I also feel very strong in standing up against the opposition (whoever they may be - I expect all the doctors) regarding abortion. We will not have one. We are trusting God to take care of our baby, Faith, and us, whatever the outcome. Yesterday, I was entertaining the idea of abortion (as I never thought I could, but the prognosis was so bad). Is it fair or right to bring a suffering child into the world? Shiloh never flinched. He said, like divorce, abortion is not an option. I am thankful to really see his leadership surface at this time. Spiritually he is strong. He has been serving me with food and love. I feel very close to him even though we are coping differently. Yesterday he didn't talk to anyone until he called his Dad at 6pm. He IMed Caleb (his brother). He couldn't talk to anyone or he would just cry. I, on the other hand, spent a lot of time on the phone yesterday and today."